Being Alone and Loving yourself!!! A Dedication to my wonderful niece; successful, ambitious, intelligent, talented….and SINGLE!!!!

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It used to be a time when a woman was secure in herself and was single by choice and loved every moment of it. Women traveled, did community projects, became involved in activities that were beneficial to their health, wealth, and betterment. There was not a necessity to be in love, or married, or even in a relationship, even if it was due to being career driven. I believe that the society we live in puts so much value on relationships and being with someone, that we have resorted to assortment of not only dating sites, and reality dating series on television. What message are we sending to each other? Are we saying that we no longer have a great quality of life if we are not in love, or in a relationship? Are we saying that in order to be happy we should be sharing it with someone, or in order to be a successful individual we have to be able to go home and call the one we share intimate moments  with? You tell me????

My opinion is that we have to first love ourselves before loving or should I say attempting  to love someone else. We have to know our worth and value before we can ask someone to do the same. What do we have to offer someone is a valid question for those who are so eager to be in relationships????? When I think of offering I think about people rushing into relationships or dying to be in them and once their involved with someone, they are consumed with them. All of a sudden one can’t think for themselves, no longer have an opinion that doesn’t revolve around the “boo”, and we get to a point where nothing that we do anymore is about what makes us happy, it becomes more about the other person. Some would say “but what’s wrong with that, i enjoy making them happy!”

Loosing yourself and your individuality is what happens!!! So you no longer go to the sushi bar on Friday and have California Rolls with a martini alone just to reward yourself for a great week. You no longer go to the spa alone and have a Mani and Pedi to pamper yourself because of the hectic week…and why? Well, if your “love pumpkin” doesn’t like sushi, and can’t stand the smell at the spa, then you find yourself going where they want on those important “me time” days. This is not o.k. when we look at our goals, dreams and ambition that we had prior to relationships. If we are able to balance and stay focused on our goals while being in relationships they can be wonderful, fulfilling and end up being the most successful relationships. But if we don’t love ourselves enough to continue with desires that make us happy and fulfilled then we aren’t really capable of being happy with anyone else because then grows regret, resentment, and envy if they don’t put themselves and the things they enjoy on hold.

So as we come to a close let’s talk about how we continue to look at ourselves and our happiness, and not forfeiting it for love, but yet enhancing someone else with them. It’s o.k. to be successful, driven, ambitious, and focused. Enjoy you, figure out what makes you happy, angry, mad or sad. I mean honestly, how do you tell someone to love you if you don’t know how. A more explicit way to think of it is…How can you tell someone to turn you on, if you actually don’t know what turns you on. Fall in love with you first and foremost, so that you know what your kind of love looks like. I mean, you won’t lie to you, you won’t cheat on you, and you won’t dare mistreat you; so in turn, why accept that when that’s not the kind of love you truly want for yourself…

Tell me your opinions, your experiences, your thoughts…We have several people asking this question and desiring to get it right?????

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2 thoughts on “Being Alone and Loving yourself!!! A Dedication to my wonderful niece; successful, ambitious, intelligent, talented….and SINGLE!!!!

  1. And that is one of the major sacrifices that is constantly argued about in relationships. There is one that wants to pursue their dreams of success and one that wants that undying love and could care less about wealth. I believe there is a happy medium somewhere. Striving together is much better and quite enjoyable. But when is giving of yourself to much and possibly a liability for you and at what point do you choose success or love???? Deep thought

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  2. I spent my whole life independent. Striving to make a better life for my family. Gone through this relationship and that relationship. Never really committing to di the work necessary to be in a relationship. Now I am 55 and wonder was it all worth it. Have everything I need except a husband. Someone to share in life experiences etc.. yes I am life with the life that I built yes I am happy with myself and yes I could get even happier.

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